White Lotussing in Bali
At age 22 I backpacked around the world for 18 months on $7,000. A key to doing this was thinking in local currency - a fancy dessert might sound cheap at $2, but an inexcusable excess at 1,000 Costa Rican colones. Ordering in a restaurant was easy because I always chose whatever’s cheapest (no drinks or appies, of course), and timed to span two mealtimes. I once started walking at 10pm on the crazy highway from the airport to Cairo to save taxi fare (an off-duty driver took pity on me a mile out and gave me a better deal, though I suspect he’s the one who stole my camera.) By thinking within the local economic context I spent within the same limits.
But once a month, on the date of leaving home, I would allow myself a Rich Gringo day. Buy myself that dessert because that $2 wouldn’t seriously dent my $15,000 bank balance. Take another poor traveller or local friend out for lunch. Catch a show. I could live like a king for $10, fully enjoying the tilted table that global economics had placed me at, then return to a more appropriate and long-term sustainable lifestyle.
Here in South-East Asia, we could easily live on $1000/month (for two of us). But maybe the point of being here isn’t to pinch the most pennies possible. Maybe it’s a chance to treat ourselves well and not worry about finances for a spell. So for our month in Bali I try hard to curb my inbred thriftiness and jump up a few rungs of the lifestyle ladder. Not the gross excesses of White Lotus, but still a big jump and mental adjustment for me.
Sanur - the Margaritaville of Bali
Our first night is Sanur Beach just north of the airport, in what used to be the hippest hottest beach in Bali. “Used to be” presumably was 40 years ago, because those young hip backpackers are still here 40 years later, still searching for their lost shaker of salt. After being the cool old folk in the Hoi An digital nomad scene, it’s a twist to be 10-20 years younger than everyone at the comfortable, westernized restaurant bars along the high-traffic strip and well-paved beach promenade. Glad we’re only one night here, and we make the most of it with two seafood and tiramisu meals at a French diner.
With true White Lotus arrogance, I believe I’m smarter than the locals and can outfox the fox. I know that the shady moneychanger is going to try to cheat me, so I watch carefully, count the money myself, and don’t give him a chance to cheat. Then I get home and realize I’ve only got 3.5 million instead of 5 million rupia. I admit I’m impressed that he somehow palmed that much under my watchful eyes, but still storm back and demand the rest, strongly enough that he actually gives it (and this I count a second time).
Sideman - Bamboo Villa
Our dear friend Crystal encouraged us to drop $200 for two nights in private bamboo villa. Completely open air, loft bedroom overlooking our private pool. Main floor open-air living space, hammock, outdoor shower and bathtub. We eat room service most meals (and in-between snacks), only do one short walk into the beautiful hillside town, and basically speak to no-one except “Suskema” (thank you) to the lovely staff. In our insulated paradise we learn one Balinese word, several fancy dishes, and virtually nothing about Balinese culture. And for two days, we let ourselves be fully satisfied with that.
We leave town on the same high horse, booking a private customized half-day taxi tour on the relentlessly winding roads to Ubud. We climb the steep steps of the 9th century Pura Kehen “Temple of Fire”, run the gauntlet of trinket-sellers at Pengelipuran Bali Aga traditional village, snack in a bamboo forest cafe, sip the world’s most expensive “Luwak coffee” (made from coffee cherries eaten, partially digested and pooped out by the civet cat), watch pilgrims get purified at the Tirta Empul holy water temple, and tour the UNESCO-protected Tegalalang Rice Terraces.
Our vision of easy-flowing luxury bubble is popped somewhat by my insistence on bargaining with 2 drivers to bring the six-hour excursion down from $72 to $54 - I don't think I'll ever have the ability to not save when possible. And ironically, in this attempt to splurge, we’ve actually saved money and time by catching five “must-see” attractions in one swing instead of doing multiple day trips.
Ubud - Private pool, posh club
For a month in the cultural capital of Ubud, we could settle into a decent Airbnb for $600. Instead, we rent a villa in a family compound with only one other rental unit. With a private pool, outdoor kitchen/living space, well-tended garden, cleaning crew every 3 days, and lovely owners who quickly call us “family” and laugh with delight every time we learn a new Balinese phrase, we’ve got everything we need for a month of relaxation and focus. And at $1,200/month, it’s still below our allotted budget, and less than half of what our monthly housing expenses used to be in Minnesota.
Upping our White Lotus game, we walk 5 minutes up the road to the Bali Gym, where we select the “Elite” membership package that includes not only the huge sprawling air-conditioned gym/yoga/boxing facilities, but also the spa downstairs with aromatic sauna, Finnish sauna, Russian banya, Turkish hamam steam room, swimming pool, cold plunge pool, fire pit, and lounging areas. Another high-impact investment - after 3 hours a day, 6 days a week of workouts and sweat cycles, our bodies are down in fat and up in muscle, and our relaxed Bali brains are missing meetings and dream-drifting through the days.
White Lotus Tastes on a Schitt’s Creek Budget
Our big extravagances open the door to a splendidly slippery slope of small excesses. We eat out much more (learning our lesson from Vietnam), and order dragon-fruit smoothies and tiramisu whenever I gosh-darn feel like it (thankful for the gym that balances this). We casually call up a Grab ride (local Uber) around town. Enjoy an overpriced buffet at the fancy hotel next door to see the“cultural show” exclusively for us 15 privileged guests. Give 100,000 rupia tips to the driver and the guide. Pay full-price at the veggie market. Have work sessions at various fancy coffee houses with a latte/gelato entry fee. Buy two new shirts (off the sale rack) I really don’t need, while Sarah buys a suitcase full of gorgeous fabrics for future Newfoundland creative projects (and a hot pink suitcase to bring it home in). Buy high-quality heavy-wood masks for our nephews/niblings instead of the usual cheap painted knock-offs.
But old habits die hard. Honestly, I don’t have as many drinks and desserts as my hungry ghost desires. If Sarah’s staying home, I still walk 50 minutes into town to save the $3 taxi fare (and to enjoy the road). And my favourite - I drink gallons of water at the gym/spa, then bring a full bottle home to stretch the 21,000 rupee ($1.23) water jug to every 3 days instead of 2 days. I even pilfer a pocket-full of toilet paper one day to stretch our dwindling supply until tomorrow’s free cleaning day refill. You can take the man out of a cheap motel, but you can’t take the cheap out of the motel-class man.
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