It was lovely being in the middle of thousands and millions of fellow like-minded humans, but I felt out of place. After two years living outside the US, we felt more like allies than members.

It also didn’t fill me with hope. I watch this administration’s open disregard for the law, the constitutional freedoms and processes, and especially the dignity of people. I read Heather Cox Richardson and Dan Rather analyzing the mammoth collapse of all the systems that should hold Trump in check. I read Charlie Angus tracking how my beloved Canada is starting to slide down the same treacherous slope. 

And I follow my MAGA friend’s open glee every time a protester is beaten (“they should use real bullets next time”). The strategically-stoked fear and hate and scapegoating overpowering the inner goodness and strength and love that makes him my friend. 

As a Quaker I truly believe that every single person (even Trump!) has a chunk of goodness and light within, but I don’t see the American people trying to operate from that place. The Right are promoting hate, the Left are reacting in fear and defence. I’ve lost sight of how to get back to a place of healthy respectful debate, a common vision of serving the American public with dignity and decency. I enjoyed the love and humour at the rally but I don’t feel power or vision or, increasingly, hope.

If anyone can help me believe again, it’s our elders who have a longer view of the ebbs and flows, the arc that MLK promises will keep bending towards justice. As much as I enjoyed the clever insulting signs, to some extent they still fuel the vitriol and divide. These final two photos show the spirit I need to tap into to (quoting an old Quaker song) walk in the light, wherever it may be.